i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
