suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
