You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
