I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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