I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize