so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
