So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
