we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
