I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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