Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
