You just made me feel so damn special
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
