We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
