he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
