we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
