it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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