I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
