You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
