I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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