i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
