I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
