this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
