God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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