i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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