Little spoons don't ask big questions
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize