So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
