I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
