The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The Olympian is in my bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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