Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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