Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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