if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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