shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
