just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
