Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
