Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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