We're like a lot better than the average bears
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
