The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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