I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
