Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
PANTIES FOUND
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