We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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