I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
