If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I currently don't understand fingers.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
