She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
