Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
