she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
