As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
