he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
