I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Nicole vs. Life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
