Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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