And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
