I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
