He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
